People typically regret what they did just as much as what they did NOT do. You'll need to be fluent in all the ways to utilize feelings of regret in persuasive communication. Let's begin with simple and overt techniques.

"I wish I would have..."
"I really should have..."
"If I had to choose again, I would..."

And so it goes. This is part of your personal history and it's part of mine. Because feelings of regret or anticipating future regret are so driving and intense, they constantly are motivating your behavior and mine.

Utilizing regret and the anticipation of regret in communication is something that you absolutely must learn in order to be persuasive. Utilizing the tools covertly and subtly will make you a genius of influence. And ethically utilizing regret and the anticipation of regret is one of the keys to your future success.

...Imagine... you present them with a choice. They can buy you or your product...your service. Or not.

What is going to push the button for them to say "Yes!"?

It's easier than your trainer taught you.

KEY: You are going to have your client tell you what happens if they don't do what you suggest.

You could say, "Well, if you don't X, this is going to happen to you." They could say, "Yeah, you're right." And it does NOT matter. They can still say "No!"

Instead, you MUST have your client develop a future time line (or several) where they create in THEIR MIND what happens if they don't use you, your product or service.

This is true no matter what you sell or what change you are attempting to get someone to make.

Example: The client is struggling with a decision to purchase a simple term-life policy. (An extremely SMART move for a parent.) "If you don't buy life insurance what is going to happen to your kids if you die unexpectedly in a car crash?"

"I don't know. I suppose that my wife would have to work two full time jobs to support them."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I think that it would work but it would be tough... No. I don't like it. I think it would screw up everything."

"And you know what, when children lose a parent they lose an income source and a love source. It is devastating."

And of course, the client will buy some amount of insurance (as well they should). The anticipation of regretting NOT buying the life insurance is simply TOO great. The pressure is intense and the simple but crucial act of thinking about this future cements the action that must be taken.

Example: Buying a house. The internal struggle after looking at houses is there. Buyers can't decide.

"And what is it that got you to start looking for houses this month?"

"Well, we were outgrowing our old house and it was getting to be too much stress to keep it up."

"So what stresses are you going to have again if you don't move now?"

"I think we'll just go back to that day to day stress."

"Is that acceptable?"

"No. We really do need to move."

KEY: Had the client said, "I think we'll just go back to the day to day stress but that could be OK.," the decision to NOT buy has NOT been made. In fact, research shows that just analyzing the future options encourages compliance to your request. You don't need to put in false beliefs or false scenarios for anticipated regret to be incredibly effective. It's never ethical or good persuasive technique to paint unrealistic pictures for a client. Doing the RIGHT thing is ALWAYS the right thing to do.

By having the client describe for you what will happen, you keep your ideas out of the client's future and allow the client to sort through their experiences and project their own future.

If a client is missing something obvious, it is absolutely ethical to suggest the possibility of the obvious happening. But if you suggest something that is remote in nature, you run a great risk of "buyer's remorse," (the client cancels the transaction later), the client will not change their behavior, and they will not feel comfortable doing business with you again.

The ability to influence is the single most important element in communication in business, selling, a professional practice, and intimate relationships.

Science of Influence Master's Home Study Course (Volumes 1-12)
with Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.

Every useful communication involves persuasion. You want people to believe what you say. You want them to understand what you say. You want your message to be accepted and acted upon. Period. Without effective persuasion and influence, none of this is possible.

The Science of Influence is the master's home study course. What makes it different from every other program about persuasion, is that this material is fresh, potent, tested, and has nearly all of what you will discover is new! There is no rehash of past salespeople or scholars. This is the culmination of years of selling synthesized with the last five years of academic research into compliance-gaining, persuasion and influence. No one has a program like this designed for you.

Here are just some of the incredible things you will learn when you receive the first 12 cds in the series:

• Discover which of the desire to gain or the fear of loss is TRULY the far greater motivator, and how to harness that power in your persuasive messages.
• Learn what may be the single most important element of influence you have ever been introduced to. I have NEVER released this information on audio, video or in manual form
• Discover how skeptical and non-skeptical people perceive and respond to persuasive messages in a VERY different fashion. (Hint: If you don't know this information, you will automatically lose almost 1/4 of all of your encounters.)
• Ethical techniques to hypnotically enter another person's mind and reshuffle their deck!
• The one way that reciprocity can blow up and completely backfire.
• How to prepare your unconscious mind to always present the right body language at the right time.
• There is one KEY factor in making your clients decisions permanent: Here it is!
• How to specifically use Hypnotic Confusion in influential messages.
• The One Question that someone MUST say "Yes" to every time!
• The most effective non-coercive way to gain compliance on record.
• How do you create metaphors...based upon the person/audience you are speaking to?

Click here to learn more or order your copy today.

Kevin Hogan

Kevin Hogan  is the author of over a dozen books, including his most recent; Covert Hypnosis, along with  The Science of Influence,  The Psychology of Persuasion, Talk Your Way to the Top, Can't Get Through,  Irresistible Attraction.,  Through the Open Door  Tinnitus,  Life by Design, and  The New Hypnotherapy Handbook .

His most popular audio programs about persuasion include The Science of Influence Library: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI; Secrets of Sales Success (4-DVD Program) and Covert Subliminal Influence . Each year Kevin hosts a conference in Las Vegas. Kevin Hogan's Influence: Boot Camp 2008 is now available on 25 professionally produced DVD's

Kevin Hogan is the nation's leading influence and body language expert. He has shared his expertise about body language, persuasion and influence with the BBC, the New York Post and dozens of popular magazines like Cosmopolitan, First for Women, Women's World, Playboy, Women's Own and others.

Kevin Hogan has become the go-to resource for analyzing key White House figures. Hogan teaches Persuasion and Influence at the University of St. Thomas Management Center and is a frequent media guest. Articles by and about him have recently appeared in Success!, Redbook, Office Pro, Selling Power, Cosmopolitan, and numerous other publications. He was recently featured in a half dozen magazines (including wProst) in Poland after teaching persuasion and influence skills to that country's 350 leading sales managers.