If your client has
made a decision to buy a competitor in the last six months and that experience
failed, he probably regrets it. However, the experiences that happened years ago
that cause the most regret are those things that weren't done. How you direct
the minds of your clients will in large part be based upon the time factors
involved and the kinds of regret.
However, if your client has NOT done something in the more distant past that
they wish they would have, this is powerful leverage for them to take action
now.
Key Point: The problem is that if a person passes up one opportunity in the
past they tend to pass up similar opportunities for the rest of their life!!!
Counterintuitive when you consider that the things we regret more as times go by
are the actions we did NOT take!
But there is more about regret that you have to consider.
What people regret most:
When an Olympian gets a Silver medal, they are happy on the stand. Probably
excited. BUT, when time marches on, they realize they were just ticks away from
the GOLD. This is something breeds depression, disappointment and
frustration...forever. If you try and console the person by saying, "My you were
second, good going!"...you will NOT build rapport. These emotional hot buttons
are something you will need to work around.
On the other hand, the same Olympian winning the BRONZE medal...is happy.
They have done well. They didn't JUST miss the big medal. There was yet another
person between them and the gold. They may have been close. They may have been
ticks away, but this person is HAPPY with their result as time goes by. They are
proud and it sticks. There is no significant regret.
Therefore, when you are communicating with someone about their
accomplishments in rapport building communication be certain that you know
whether they are likely to be feeling positive or negative about the subjects of
conversation!
What's the right thing to do when you discover regrets like this
Here's a quick peek at how to handle this kind of regret so you can get
beyond the regret and bring the client into more receptive feelings where they
will be more likely to comply with your request. Let's imagine a new auto sales
decision.
Customer: "The last new car I bought turned out to be OK but it really wasn't
my idea but my wife's to buy it. "
You: "You know, sure it wasn't sleek, but at least it was new, didn't cost
you anything to maintain, it didn't break down, shoot, she could have made a
better choice, but you didn't lose anything. Today, we'll get you exactly what
you need."
I play blackjack when I visit Las Vegas. I fancy myself a pretty good player.
I play quickly, make decisions based upon statistical models and there isn't
much left to "intuition" or "hunches."
If there are others at the table and someone makes a decision that turns out
to be a mistake, (at a Blackjack table people think that anything that didn't
make them money was a mistake...not true) they typically want to see what the
next card left concealed was so they could see if making a DIFFERENT decision
would have been the "right" thing to do.
When they see that having made a different decision would have resulted in
the same outcome (lost their money) they accept their fate and are annoyed. When
they see the concealed card and realize that had they made a different decision
they would have WON money, they not only feel annoyed but disgusted and frankly
show symptoms of depression!
In either case the outcome was the same but the degree of regret is
dramatically different.
I constantly remind my seat partners (if they made the right decision) that
they did indeed make the "right" decision and that shows they know what they are
doing. This helps build rapport and keep things calm, because NO ONE wants to
look stupid or feel humiliated when it comes to putting money at risk...and
losing.
Do the same thing when dealing with your clients! NEVER let someone feel
stupid about past mistakes. Make sure they know that any intelligent person
would have done the same thing if they were presented the situation they did. If
you show even an unconscious body language cue that the person DID make a
foolish mistake or they feel humiliated in anyway, the answer to YOUR request
will be, "No."
Now, imagine that your neighbor buys a new lawnmower. He had his old one for
a decade!Your old one was a junker and you should have known better, but what do
you know about lawn mowers? Nothing. Zip. You can't even spell the words.
"Hey Mark, what kind of mower did you buy when you tossed yours the other
day?"
"Toro XR57Q."
You know what you are going to buy?
A Toro XR57Q.
If you do NOT buy a Toro XR57Q and your new lawn mower breaks down, needs
repairs, conks out after one summer...you are going to look like an idiot! You
will massively regret it and that is precisely where your mind goes. Therefore,
this is easy. Toro XR57Q.
There can be no regrets if you buy the XR57Q. Sold.
by Kevin Hogan, Psy.D.
You want people to believe what you say. You want them to understand what you
say. You want your message to be accepted and acted upon. Period. Without
effective persuasion and influence none of this is possible.
The Science of Influence is the master's home study course. What makes the
Science of Influence different from every other program about persuasion is that
this material is fresh, potent, tested, and has nearly all of what you will
discover is new! There is no rehash of past salespeople or scholars. This is the
culmination of years of selling synthesized with the last five years of academic
research into compliance gaining, persuasion and influence. No one has a program
like this designed for you. I guarantee it.
In Volumes 1-12 you are going to learn incredible new tactics for defusing
resistance and overcoming the knee jerk response of people that say "no." Unlock
the mystery of the "freedom of choice" and how critical the number of choices a
client/customer has are going to impact her decision to buy from you now!
You already know that you can frame a message that will virtually guarantee
success or you can state your message the wrong way and hear a "knee jerk no."
Now, I'm going to show you HOW!! Creating persuasive frames in business, your
profession or your personal life is a skill that will literally bring you your
hearts desires! I want to show you specifically how to create frames for your
messages so you can customize your product/idea or service to your clients in
such a way that they will be instantly ready to say "yes!" to you.
Anticipated Regret is dealt with in the Omega Strategies section of
the program. Look for specific strategies and techniques to conquer this
oft-encountered situation.
Discover how skeptical and non-skeptical people perceive and respond to
persuasive messages in a VERY different fashion. (Hint: If you don't know this
information you will automatically lose almost 1/4 of all of your encounters.)
Determine whether you should suggest your client's future to her or whether
you should have them offer you details on what they think it holds once they say
"yes" or "no."
You're also going to learn:
Start to reap the rewards of becoming a master of influence while you study
in the privacy of your home!
Science of Influence Master's Home Study Program
The ability to influence is the single most important element in communication
in business, in running a professional practice, in maintaining intimate
relationships and obviously, in selling. Every useful communication involves the
power of persuasion.
Kevin Hogan
Kevin Hogan is the author of 12 books, including his most recent; Covert Hypnosis, along with The Science of Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion, Talk Your Way to the Top, Can't Get Through, Irresistible Attraction., Through the Open Door Tinnitus, Life by Design, and The New Hypnotherapy Handbook .
In addition to his Science of Influence Part I audio series, his most popular audio programs include The Science of Influence: Part V: Buying Triggers Revealed., Covert Subliminal Influence!, Covert Hypnosis...Revealed, Read Body Language Like an Expert!, Time for Love, Time for Money: Time Production System and Psychology of Wealth Complete Package CD Set, Hypnosis: The Solution for Weight Loss?, and Breakthrough achievement tool! Use subliminal imaging to excel. Research-proven.
Kevin Hogan is the nation's leading influence and body language expert. He has shared his expertise about body language, persuasion and influence with the BBC, the New York Post and dozens of popular magazines like Cosmopolitan, First for Women, Women's World, Playboy, Women's Own and others.
Kevin Hogan has become the go-to resource for analyzing key White House figures. Hogan teaches Persuasion and Influence at the University of St. Thomas Management Center and is a frequent media guest. Articles by and about him have recently appeared in Success!, Redbook, Office Pro, Selling Power, Cosmopolitan, and numerous other publications. He was recently featured in a half dozen magazines (including wProst) in Poland after teaching persuasion and influence skills to that country's 350 leading sales managers
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